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How to Get Rich and NOT Die Tryin

Posted by on Monday, February 17, 2014 in Blog, College Life, Economics, Freshman Life, General Information, Nashville, Student Life, Work Study.

When I say the words: college student. what is the first thing that you think of? Maybe you’re philosophical and all that and think: “the future.” Me? Not so much. The first word I think of is poor. Poor College Student. These two go perfectly together, like teenage girls and vampires. Here is my guide to get rich but not die tryin’.

So, all you high school kiddos thinking about college, get ready to go broke. Once you’re in college, you’ll realize all this freedom and start spending money on whatever you want. Even if you’re some super genius financial guru, you’re bound to run into some trouble with cash unless your parents decide to give you some kind of ridiculous allowance. (if so, no need to read further).

If you’re in my boat where your parents stopped giving you an allowance once you turned double digits, then we’re all in this together. All of us will develop different spending habits but nonetheless, we will all go broke. We will all find our ways to dry up the piggy bank. For me, its Amazon and Chillis. For some reason, I like to buy random things off Amazon and be able to justify my purchases. Things like a Coffee machine, lamp, iron+iron board, blender, Taylor Swift poster, bathroom scale and a Vanderbilt flag and flag pole. Sure some of these things are useful to have (like the TSwift poster), but I could really do without it. My roommate even bought himself a guitar… he doesn’t even know how to play the guitar.
Additionally, eating out multiple times a week is not suggested as you will go broke. Even worse is that if you want to take a girl out on a date, thats expensive stuff.
Dinner for two+whatever activity you plan on doing=$$$$$$
And for girls, that skinny vanilla latte at Starbucks every morning will milk every last penny out of you.

Now, you’re asking, “Mr. Jae, I’m scared! How do I afford these self-destructive impulses?” Do not be afraid, for it is I who will save your wallets and protect you from your compulsion. I wish I could say I don’t buy random things off Amazon, but I’d be lying. Instead, I found ways to fund my efforts.

So, here I have listed the steps you need to take to survive.

Plan A

Find a campus job. It sounds simple enough. There are plenty of jobs you can find around campus if you look in the right places. I put an emphasis on campus jobs as they are much more flexible than a regular job at Maccas or Wendys. Your employers will be University employees so they understand if you can’t make a shift due to exams or you’re swamped with work.
Also, if you work in one of the school departments, you meet people and make connections WHILE you get paid. I’ve met a lot of professors in the Managerial Studies office just because I sit at the front desk and see them regularly.
You also get to see a lot of your classmates on the job which is better than being stuck at some fast food joint off campus.
The ideal job is some kind of front office work, but any work on campus should be fine. Alternatively, if you get lucky, you could find a research lab willing to pay you.
Regular income=Long-term survival

Plan B

No campus job available? Vanderbilt Dining is always looking for new workers. You get to work with other undergraduate students so its an opportunity to meet people, maybe even the love of your life. And plus, you get some free meals. Food=Survival.

Plan C

Alright, you’re panicking. You have a hot date set up for this weekend but you’re short on cash. Have no fear, you can partake in Psychology Studies that are one-time commitments. They are on-campus and they [usually] pay you in cash. Cash=Instant Survival.
Another option is to take part in Clinical Trials at the Vanderbilt Hospital. I haven’t done any before but I’m sure it pays decent money.

Plan D

There are no job openings, no one wants to employ you or you don’t have the hours available for a regular part-time job. You’re in a sticky situation, its now life or death. You’re reaching real deep into the bag of tricks. Like Hermione and her special purse. Here’s one: Student Organizations. If you look around, a lot of student organizations have events/weekly meetings where they give out free food to the members. Off the top of my head, I know that tomorrow at 6pm the Vanderbilt Student Republicans are having some event with free chick-fil-a and at 7pm the Association of Biology Students are having a general meeting with free pizza. Chick-fil-a AND pizza? That’s a 2 course meal. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Democrat studying Political Science. You just have to blend in; talk about cells and animals, you’ll fit right in.
Then, with all your meals that are left over, use it to buy gum and then sell it to other students in bulk. Make Profit, Survive.

Plan E

Well, everything has gone miserably and this is your only hope. Call your parents and ask for a cash injection. Assure them that you are an investment and that you’ll pay them back in the future.
Tip: Ask nicely.
Bonus tip: Get an A on an exam/paper/quiz/homework, tell the parents, ask for some cash while they are hearing the good news.

That is all the advice I can offer. If none of those options work, I am sorry to hear that.

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